Getting Back Into the Game (Development)

     It’s been a long while since I’ve done a blog (or any game development for that matter). Recently I’ve been getting back into it heavily. I’m hoping that I can seriously find a way to make it permanent this time (i.e. will design/develop for food). How does one go from 110% hardcore activity in anything to 0%? How does one go from 0 to 100%+ again? I’m sure there’s not a straight answer for either of these. Honestly there’s no point unless going back to something is due to an irresistible itch that nothing else in life can scratch. For me, it’s pure passion. Words honestly can’t express how much I want to design and develop games; not only for a career but, even just for fun.

Going from 110% to 0%

     That’s actually pretty simple in my case; money. I gotta eat, y’know? I spent as much time as I could designing and developing my portions of Hack Wars. After a while though, having to find work for money, working, then trying to get back to the second love of my life just took it’s toll. Stress and anxiety made me actually sleep! I mean seriously, I’d stay up all day and night for 2-3 days in a row until stress kicked in. I gave up playing games to get to what I wanted to do. Outside? What the hell is this? I’d rather be working on Hack Wars!
     Unfortunately however, life called upon me to do its bidding. After so much over the course of just a few weeks, my development and design time dropped to nothing. I couldn’t get the energy to get into it. Ever have that feeling where your body’s tired but your brain can’t stop? How about the other way around? You got the jitters and feel like you could run a mile but your brain keeps making your eyes roll into the back of your head, closing your eyelids and slowing your breathing... THEN YOU REALIZE YOUR WALKING STILL! Yeah, completely bad juju there. Micro-naps such as this are very bad. Good micro-naps should be planned, not happen suddenly in full motion. Thankfully I wasn’t driving a vehicle or anything, that could be bad (and has happened once on a long road trip). So, needless to say, for the first time in like 1-2 years I started to sleep regularly. Anyone who knows me (or even knows of me) could be asking, “Are you sick?” Online at night? Same here. Online in the day? Me too! How about in between? I swear, I’m not stalking you.
     Getting more sleep due to complete exhaustion meant a lot less time for me. I went from 4-5 hours every 2 days (average, sometimes less sleep) to getting 6-8 hours nearly every night. Quite a change and, more importantly, a waste of time! I hate sleep. Takes up far too much time and my lack of design and development for Hack Wars was obvious proof. I have to admit though, a lot of the tedious work for one of my favorite games definitely didn’t help, it really lost its ‘fun factor’.
     Which leads into another minor reason I fell out. A lot of the work was in bigger ‘chunks’ which were difficult to complete without dedicated time. Not going into details but, it’s really hard to be motivated to do a 5-6 hour job in 1-2 hours at a time. In the long run it ends up being more like 10 hours total which isn’t very efficient.

Going from 0% to 100%

     Recently (within the last month or so) I received a message which was the physical, emotional and mental motivation and inspiration I needed. Physical? Yes, my heart skipped a beat for multiple reasons then began pounding with adrenaline. What was the mental reaction? Whoah! There’s no way I’m going to describe everything that went on in my head in less than 0.357 seconds of reading this message. Not enough time and people would be waiting forever for such an amount of text to be downloaded. All that needs to be said is that about 2,387,731,094 thoughts, images, videos, text, etc in one big garbled message. What the hell does emotion have to do with it? Everything! Unlike most, I have an extreme passion for games and the design and development they require, especially complex and well-rounded games like MMORPGs. I have an undying love and near unlimited loyalty for Hack Wars especially.
     I am more than convinced our game will reach a point of no return. It’ll reach a point that keeps gamers of all kinds completely addicted. A well informed and educated person can take a step back, look at the bigger picture and say, “Whoah”. This isn’t just a game to be thrown into the wolves. The team creating this game definitely has something. These things cause an insatiable drive to be a bigger part of it and make a deep impact on something incredible. I’m ready to take it all the way after several mishaps, realisations, epiphanies and a few words of wisdom from friends, family and even just old geezers with plenty of “woulda, shoulda, coulda” in their life.




     I think I’m obsessed. I may have an addiction problem. If so, I really don’t care. Can’t really be happy if I’m not doing something in my life that I like. It’s not like my obsession and addiction is destructive. I’ve been ridin’ the clutch for too long already. Time to shift, pop the clutch and slam on the gas. Expect much more from me, pressure me if you want (I work well under pressure). Most of the time though, my posts will be more ‘on topic’.

“Hi! My name is Chris and I’m addicted to making games.”